My truth
by Muttzrock
Summary: "If I ever admitted one thing, if I ever accepted one thing in my childish little life it is that I love you and only you..." Oliver writes a letter and Marcus replies
1. Chapter 1

**Title: My truth**

**Summary: Oliver sends a letter to Marcus this is what it says… (Oliver POV)**

**Warnings: Strong swear words but not many.**

**A.N: I should have really been working on my other fanfictions but this came to mind and I had to write it.**

**Part 1**

If I ever admitted one thing, if I ever accepted one thing in my childish little life it is that I love you and only you...

When I was eleven you scared me, I was terrified so much that I held back tears when ever you looked at me, but that didn't matter when I saw you on the Quidditch field all I wanted was for you to accept me because the way you moved in the sky, so elegant, so fierce you had a style that was your own and I admired you so much I guess deep down I probably fell in love with you. It was funny you had no idea I existed I mean why would you I was the snot nosed Gryffindor first year who was obsessed with Quidditch how were you supposed to know I was any good. At the time I was annoyed you didn't notice me and believe it or not I was actually jealous of Percy because you picked on him instead of me but I knew you did it because he was Charlie's little brother. I sound like a complete contradiction saying you scared me but I wanted you to notice me but it's the truth even without saying a word to me you are already fucking me up. Nothing much more I can say about this year it was a long time ago all I remembered was practising so hard so I could be on the Quidditch team, Charlie kept me as a reserve but that wasn't good enough he was only doing it to be nice so I just pushed myself to the limits so by next year I would be on the team.

I became a keeper in my second year as I claimed I would be I had never been so happy and proud of myself. I love the game as you know, and I was so excited you can't understand...actually no I think you're the only person to really understand me. So you probably understand what it meant to me when I saved your goal it was incredible my first game and I saved my first goal against the Slytherin wonder boy but I had no time to celebrate my head was too into the game which was my downfall as you sent a bludger my way and aimed it right at my head. When I woke up the first thing I felt wasn't anger or resentment I felt almost flattered because you found me that much of a threat you had to get me out the game. My feelings though were short lived I realised what you did which was make me miss my first proper match, the most important match of my life I was up in the sky for what two minutes before I was knocked out. Charlie came up to me telling me that we lost the game but he kept adding it wasn't my fault which obviously meant it was. The next day I went purposely looking for you, Percy tried to tell me that you weren't worth it that I'll have plenty of matches to come and I shouldn't do anything reckless of course he was right, bloody Percy is always right but I didn't care. I found you on your own and I knew this was my chance I went up to you and started shouting at you if I remember correctly I called you a dirty-cheating-evil-ugly-bastard-troll though there may have been more words forced into that name but I'm not sure. After my tirade or abuse you just looked at me like I just grown another head completely bewildered at why I was so angry then when I thought I was safe to leave because you hadn't moved you suddenly sprung into action and punched me right on the nose. My nose bled so heavily I thought all the blood in my body was just going to pour down my chin and you just sat there laughing at me, so I did what any boy in my position would do I ran. I guess that's when you became my rival but in a much fucked up kind of way I still looked up to you.

As much as I admired you I hated you by my third year I wasn't scared of you anymore I just hated you and I relished it I never wanted anything more to do with you then to hate you because that made me a proper Gryffindor. I knew by now that no matter what all you could be was my rival, my enemy, my only achievement I could possibly have was to be better than you, maybe I just spent too much time in the common room to think for myself. I was just taught socially that I could never like you and I accepted it. But that's not exactly the whole truth even though I thought your Quidditch skills were amazing and I thought you were a bastard because you were a Slytherin, something else was happening, something was changing. But it wasn't my fault I was thirteen you were fourteen it wasn't my fault what I began feeling I was too young to understand but old enough to feel something was different. I ignored it, what else could I do the only thing I believed was that I had to be a good Quidditch player and to become that I have to be loyal without fault to my house everyone believed that every Quidditch player believes they have to be faithful to their house because that's like being faithful to the game you must have thought the same. I know you did because why else would you start arguments with me, stop me in the corridors just to hurl abuse at me. I knew I should have walked away, you were a lot bigger than me, stronger and faster if you wanted to you could physically kill me but I still argued back. Was that why you kept abusing me? Out of everyone on the Gryffindor Quidditch team I was the only one you went out and looked for, was that because I fought back? Was it because I wasn't scared of you? Or maybe you fancied me and you just tried to fight against it. I find the last one unlikely I was really spotty when I was thirteen.

When I was fourteen was when you used to hit me and I always smacked you back, we always gave as good as we got, on and off the pitch. I used to love our fights I didn't like being beaten up but I did like I was always challenged against you I loved it. I guess I craved it, craved to be touched by you, craved for you to notice me and notice me you did. Every time you saw me you would aggravate me, hurt me in a way no-one else could and it was like hell but I needed your punishment you hating me was a lot better than for you to ignore me. I had no idea why I felt like that, still don't as a matter of fact; I guess I was a bit of a freak really. Oh the fights we got into I remembered it took four teachers to pull us off each other. That's what I loved the most, we didn't fight with wands, we thought the muggle way with our fists and you loved it too. You got to admit for a pureblood you prefer to do things the muggle way, well so do I really. I'd rather work up a sweat when I'm fighting not stand there for a couple minutes trying to think of a good enough hex. Then again we gave each other pretty good jinxes, my favourite was when I when I made you hiccup none stop for a week and you kept hiccupping pink bubbles, I was considered a hero for doing it you don't have too many fans. I thought your revenge was a bit too much, giving me bright orange urine and then also adding no control on bladder was way too sick. I couldn't get on a broom for days and then even when I was cured I kept checking myself to make sure I wasn't leaking. You are filthy man and don't you forget it I surely never will.

I was fifteen a fifteen year old boy, hormones everywhere I would have humped a rock if I knew I wouldn't be caught. And you, you bastard you were so attractive, everyone in my house was all so excited about Harry Potter but I couldn't give two shits about the boy who lived all I cared about and all I thought about was you. All I could think about was you and when I wasn't thinking about you I was thinking about how to beat you in Quidditch and in our little fights. Then Harry became my seeker and you were livid, so angry at me I thrived off it because the angrier you got the more you went out of your way to get at me, but I was in such a danger zone because when you were so close I just got hard and it took me all my power not to kiss you. The more I lusted after you though the more I believed I actually hated you because it would have been far easier. Maybe if I knew the truth about you I would have felt so much better. It didn't help that our fights were more violent, more…intimate? I guess they were intimate in a weird way, you would push me against the wall and your whole body would be against mine, your face was so close to mine and all that time you could have kissed me. Could you never see I wanted you to? I wanted it so much but I never was going to make the first move. I never really thought you were going to kiss me I was so sure you didn't feel the same, but then we had the match. You waited till just when I left the hospital wing which you put me in again via a bludger I was still weak when you jumped me we were alone and you were so furious but what can I say, as I pointed out before I was fifteen you turned me on even when you looked like you were going to kill me and then you were so close to me and that's when I felt it…your hard on. Your erection was against mine and I was too scared to move I waited for you. I thought it was a dream but no, sex dreams were never this scary. So I waited for you to make the first move I wanted you to kiss me but all you did was walk away. You had your dick right against mine you knew I was hard too but no you fucking walked away you bastard. Then you did the worst thing you could possibly do to me you ignored me for months you ignored me and it hurt, at first I thought you were going to tell everyone how I got an erection from you, I knew that no-one would believe that you had one too. After a while though I knew you weren't going to say anything you were just scared of what you felt and I understood that, that's why I went after you but I didn't expect you to pull me into the men's toilets and kiss me in one of the stalls. I was dazed at first but I soon got into it, you were my first kiss. How embarrassing is that fifteen and then I had my first kiss ever though I guess I was good enough you didn't back away or anything. We kissed a lot that year and then you ignored me again, just ignored me for the rest of the fucking year. You broke my heart; you never even told me what I did wrong.

Now at the age of sixteen I thought maybe I could get over you, you know find a nice girl or even a nice boy anyone that wasn't you. But no you decided to kiss me on the train? I don't know why maybe you thought to yourself what would be the best way to make me go fucking insane then after that you were nicer you weren't as angry as you were, like we were back to where we left off and that was that. We had sex, I lost my virginity to you and you were gentle. You were gentle. I had sex with you in the prefect bathroom and you were gentle, there are just too many things wrong with that sentence. Everything was going great we now had something close to a relationship or something that could form into a relationship. Then you had to fuck it up, you had to have Malfoy on your team yeah he's a decent enough seeker and yeah he's a good choice but you accepted the brooms and I lost all respect for you. The boy I saw up in the air when I was eleven was bought out for a broom, you traded in your self respect for a fucking broom and I was so angry at you. I know now that maybe I was a bit harsh and I shouldn't have told you to go fuck yourself, I thought you would hit me but no you walked off again this time you got yourself a girlfriend and she wasn't any girl she was your reserved keeper. Talk about kicking me when I'm down so of course I got myself a girlfriend poor Katrina she never had a chance. She offered me her body and I excepted, she lost her virginity to a gay man who was in love with his rival, she gave herself to a man who didn't even fancy her not least love her. I had to think of you to get my dick up. Rightly so she dumped me afterwards but she thanked me for being so gentle I had never felt so guilty and that's why I came to you I was so furious at you because you made me into this creature that uses people just to make myself believe I could be normal. But of course I couldn't, you tainted me so much I was beyond repair, then as I screamed and hit you, you hugged me and said you were sorry and that's what made me cry. I hugged you back and you kissed me again, we made love in your dorm when everyone was out. We didn't have sex; we made love, that's a huge fucking difference, that's why I forgave you. You showed me you loved me, you never said it but you didn't have to, you showed it. We became a couple, sort of. Then it suddenly became the end of the year and you were leaving Hogwarts for good, what could I possibly do without you? You became everything to me and now you were leaving me and I hated you all over again but for once it wasn't your fault. I became more immersed in Quidditch then I was before I couldn't think about you because it hurt too much.

My last year I just didn't want to go back even for Quidditch because it wasn't the same without you how was I supposed to know that this year would be the happiest year of my life. You came back, granted it was an accident but I was so happy to see you and for once everything was going okay actually not okay fantastic. We were boyfriends, proper boyfriends well we were secret boyfriends but still boyfriends and I knew you were the love of my life and that was it in my mind. The seventh year was a time were nothing mattered, yeah we had life altering exams but I just didn't care, falling asleep in your bed I just I didn't care about any shit that was going on even if there was a murderer loose in the school, you made me feel safe. That's all that year was, just being with you on and off the pitch and I can't even remember anything we did together, maybe we did nothing together. Actually no I distinctly remember a time when we got drunk together and we had sex in on of the corridors, most of the time though we would just sit together and talk about useless things. We did nearly get caught though when I was staying in the Slytherin dorm when all the Gryffindors had to be in the great hall, it wasn't my fault how was I supposed to know that Sirius Black would come sniffing about? But I still wouldn't change where I was being asleep in your bed was way better than sleeping on the floor. The only bad thing about the seventh year was that it ended but even then we became reserves for our favourite teams and they were rivals I guess we were always going to be rivals but that's okay I can live with that. I never thought I could be this happy; everything was going as it should. We even had a flat all ready for us to move into. Well I say we, it was you who paid for it.

The next three years seemed a lot different for us then for anyone else, we just got to deal with Quidditch and keeping our relationship a secret it was no real difference than when we were in school and although I would love to have at least one dinner out with you in public. There was no chance of that happening especially when we got promoted and we played for the teams in matches. That would have never gone down well, or maybe it would, I think we were both too scared to find out. But even with the secrecy there was no real reason to complain, I was oddly happy, like it didn't matter. We were so involved with our world we ignored the destruction that was about to happen, maybe we should have been more careful. Maybe I should have got my head out of the clouds and realised what was going to happen, that I was part of a war and I didn't even know which side you would fight on or even if you were going to fight on any at all. I just didn't want to think about it, being my enemy in game was one thing, being my enemy in life would be too much.

The year of the war or also known as the year I made the biggest mistake of my life. I'm so sorry for everything that I didn't tell them. I was scared that they'd think I was in league with the dark lord, I should have told them about us, told them where you had been for four years. You don't understand what it was like, I already knew I had to fight, I wanted to fight, but they terrified me, everyone terrified me. I just wanted to tell them, what they wanted to hear; they made me paranoid of you. I began thinking that maybe you would fight for you-know-who; they told me your father was fighting for him they lied to me. They wanted me to believe your family was involved so that I'd believe you were because as the saying goes "Blood's thicker than water". I was no better than I was in school, listening to people's ideas and taking them on as my own because I was worried what they would think of me. I'm so, so sorry if I spoke out you wouldn't have been questioned, you wouldn't have been kicked off the team. You could have been sent to Azkaban because of me. I did tell them the truth though, eventually, after the war, there were so many loses it came clear to me that this life is too short for it to be dictated by other people. Then I found out that you did, you thought with us, you gave information against the death eaters, you risked your life for the good cause. I did hear about your father and to do what you did even after he got killed, you're a fucking hero. Even after what you did though, the bastards still didn't believe you were innocent until after I told them about us. I don't blame you for not wanting anything to do with me after what I did, for making you suffer and I know I have no right to think we can have a chance but for fuck sake I miss you.

So now it's been six years after the war, I'm 27 now and in those six years the only time I felt good was when I found out you were back with the Falcons but still 6 years you were reserved because of me. The game we had yesterday when I saw you on the pitch I was so happy to see you I wanted to hug you and kiss you, I even wanted to let you win but you wouldn't want that, you won fair and square and I hate loosing even if I deserve it. If you haven't thrown this away, you're probably wondering what the punch line is. Well it is that after 7 years of being your school rival, four years of being your lover and 6 years being without you, all I can say is that I love you. I love you so much I never stopped. Being without you hurts so much it feels like my heart is bleeding and that it's just going to stop because it can't take anymore pain. Please come back to me, I need you and we make a pretty good couple we like the same things; we obsess over the same things we're meant to be together. Unless you don't like me anymore which let's face it no one would blame you. I mean I'd fucking judge you if you did take me back, I'd think you were a complete and utter looser but that doesn't mean I think you shouldn't take me back. Look I've tried to move on and it's not going very well, I've even moved in with Percy that's how bad things have gotten.

I'm going to stop this letter now before I just go on and on about being pathetic. I'm going to say it one last time in this letter.

I love you

Oliver Wood

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	2. Chapter 2

**Title: My truth**

**Summary: Marcus's reply to Oliver's letter… (Marcus POV)**

**Warnings: Strong swear words more frequent then the 1****st**** part.**

**A.N: I wrote this straight after the first part I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it**

**Part 2**

That was a long letter you sent me, but I still read it I thought about just not replying or sending you a reply telling you to go fuck yourself. Well you were so honest in your letter guess that means I have to be honest in mine.

There's no real point talking about my first year it was pretty average I could have gotten on the Quidditch team but my Captain didn't want to have a first year. By the way I'm only writing my letter like this because you did, thought you'd probably want to know why I did, what I did. So first year, I was there, you weren't, that's all really.

Second year you turned up, sorry to admit it but I didn't really notice. No only joking I did notice you. I caught you flying in your first lesson, I also watched as you tried out for your team. You were good, really good. I already knew you were worthy of being keeper, just your Captain had the same problem mine did; it's a big risk having first years on the field. I caught you watching me a few times but I always assumed it was my imagination. I didn't pick on you because I didn't get you, Weasley I got him sussed but not you. In some ways I always kept an eye on you, I knew you were going to be a pain in my arse once you got on the field, your current keeper was shit, and it was too easy to score against your house. I was excited for when you got on the team; I knew you would be worth my energy.

And low and behold you were worth my energy and you were the biggest pain in my arse. Third year you came and you were on the Gryffindor team, I was not surprised, but I was surprised you stopped my goal. That was unforgivable, I had to get you out of the game, and you were far too quick for a second year so you had to be taken out before you embarrassed me. I didn't feel quilt, I did what I had to do to keep my reputation; the last thing I need was a daft second year Gryffindor to humiliate me in front of the whole school. Then when I was innocently spending time on my own, you came up to me and began yelling at me, no offence but you were some squeaky little boy back then, it was almost hilarious watching you yelp at me, it took me a while to understand what you were going on about. When you finally stopped yapping on I thought you were going to run away, but no, you stood there, staring at me so I decided to punch you. Don't take it too personally it was only to ensure you wouldn't continue talking to me. Then you nose started bleeding, no offence but it was hilarious. You just stood there as it all poured out of you and you seemed so confused, like it had never happened before. I knew that wasn't going to be the end of you and I was happy about it, I always liked a challenge.

Oh my fourth year, you became the biggest pain in my arse. Yes I argued with you and bloody hell it was fantastic everyone else was terrified of me but not you. Yeah you claimed you were but you weren't. You were strong, you were so fucking strong and I became addicted like I had to see you everyday, I had to fight with you every single day because then I knew you were still there you were like an entity in my life didn't matter if I liked you or not I needed you to be there. Yeah that sounds pretty weird but it was kind of true, you were there everyday and so I just began to rely on you to be there so we can scream at each other. I didn't have that need to be part of my house as you were, well maybe I did but I never thought about it. Slytherin was just something I was put into, it's not like Quidditch where I had to work hard to be part of, and something else chose me to be a Slytherin. Not saying I didn't want to be in Slytherin, it's a known fact that we are a lot cooler than you. You are probably wondering if I fancied you, because you definitely fancied me. Maybe I did I never really thought about it. I always thought about you, thought about what to say to piss you off or figure out the best tactic to get a quaffel in without you catching it. I never remembered wanting to have sex with you. You were still a bit of a brat who was still waiting for his growth spurt, thinking back you were not unattractive but you were still a boy.

When I was fifteen, I became Captain; you were so fucking jealous I was all ready to shove it in your face. Laugh as I was now a captain how should I know that Weasley chose you, you were only fourteen for fuck sake but no you became Captain a year younger than me I was furious you bastard. Not saying you didn't deserve it you did deserve to be Captain but not when you were younger than me. I was actually surprised you never mentioned this in your letter, thought you'd be all over the whole "I became a Captain when I was fourteen" but maybe you purposely didn't say it because you knew it would piss me off. No wonder I smacked you about, bloody Captain at fourteen. Oh but its gets worse doesn't it, you started to look good. Sometime in the summer holidays you became fucking attractive I should have killed you for what you did to me. I should have done a lot of things but I ended up shagging some girl, she was older than me and I knew she was a slut but I started to like you, I fancied you and I realised that when I look around I started to fancy other guys in the school. That's why I did it. I'm not proud of it, you lost your virginity to me but I lost mine to some girl in my house that was 2 years older than me. Everyone else on the Quidditch team treated me as some kind of hero I personally thought I acted like a twat. I blamed you for it though, that's why I would beat you up but you always thought back so I never felt guilty about it. Yeah I loved it too you know, having you all over me, pulling me closer so you could hit me I fucking enjoyed it, it was fun. Everything I did with you was fun and also hiccupping pink bubbles is not cool, do you have any idea what grief I got for that. You were like the younger brother I never had, I still saw you everyday didn't matter what we were doing I just saw you everyday; I don't even see my housemates that often. I guess you were special to me but I never thought about this shit at the time, I mean why would I we were just kids, students, Quidditch professional wannabes how was I supposed to know that everything I did then was going to make a difference now.

If I thought you were attractive when I was fifteen, it was nothing compared to how I felt about you when I was sixteen. I knew I was gay in case you were wondering, but being gay is way harder in the lifestyle I lead compared to the one that you do. I'm expected to meet another pureblood and make little pureblood babies. Oh can't believe I nearly forgot about Potter bloody fucking Potter. Oh you were so fucking smug now wonder I head butted you in the corridors. He was never that fantastic we were much better Quidditch players in our first years how come he got to fucking play? Because he was the fucking boy-who-lived who gives a crap. It wasn't like he jumped up out of his cot and kicked you-know-who in the nuts was it? No and you felt the same as I did. Don't forget I know you so well back then I knew even though you acted proud you were secretly pissed off too. Well enough about Potter, I'm more interested in your letter about the fights we had, I always knew you liked a little spanking under the sheets but even I was not aware how much of a masochist you were. You asked if I ever saw how much you wanted me, sometimes I think I would but I wanted you so I didn't know if it was wishful thinking or not. When I went to you after you got out the hospital wing I was still so angry, your seeker caught the snitch before mine, Potter won against Higgs that crushed him. Of course I wanted revenge, but I got to admit I was expecting the way you looked at me. It was like, I don't know I was seeing you differently, yeah I admit it I fancied you but that moment something was different. You mentioned love in your letter quite a lot but I'm not really sure what that means to me. Maybe I did fall in love, just a little though. I guess you want me to explain why I walked away; I walked away because I was scared of what I'd do. Realising you're gay is one thing, acting upon it was another thing. Do you have any idea how I really felt? No you didn't did you. I felt like I could have you in the sense I could just take you, I could kiss you, I could even have sex with you, but for the love of fuck I couldn't. Everything I wanted nay everything I fucking needed was right there in front of me and I couldn't have it! That's why I ignored you; I regret it now, fuck I regret it but what could I have done? Kiss you and tell you that I love you now let's o off shag then eventually marry? No of course I couldn't fucking do that, even though I really wanted to. The reason why I kissed you after ignoring you was because I missed you, there I actually said it I…missed…you. I didn't realise I was your first kiss, knew I was your first shag but not kiss, kind of wished we did it somewhere else, the toilets aren't exactly classy. You were a good kisser, I liked your lips, never thought I would but I soon got a craving for them. I began to care for you. That's why I stopped it. I didn't realise I'd break your heart all I wanted was an outlet for what I wanted and I thought that was the same for you. If I knew I'd hurt you like that I wouldn't have done it, I wouldn't have been such a coward. I'm cool with giving you a few bruises and telling you, you're a prick but never wanted to harm you like that. I'm sorry.

When I was seventeen, I felt less of a man then before you bastard. Sixteen you were and you were edible, gorgeous even, how could I possibly not kiss you again. The summer was long, very long and I needed you. I wasn't thinking of you, I just knew I needed you because it was getting harder and harder to fight what I was…what I am. I think mother had an idea about what was up with me, father doesn't know probably for the best really. I never did tell you what was going on home, I didn't want your pity, but I should have known better. So I guess this was when our affair began, don't like to call it affair though, I don't know what to call it. Mindless fucking has a nice ring to it but I know you won't appreciate it being called that. When I had sex with you it was fantastic, bearing in mind the only other time I had sex was with a dirty slag so I'm not the best judge of quality, but fuck me. You were so open to me; you let me in…in more ways than one might I add. Being above you, watching you cum, there was no experience in the world that matched that it was better than flying, not because it was sex; it was because it was sex with you. Then as you so rightly said, I fucked it up, I was falling for you, I was getting addicted, I was shit scared because one day I was going to have to marry some piece of skirt and there was no point torturing either of us, really was there? You have every right to think I was a coward back then. So yeah I shagged my reserved keeper it wasn't meant as any offence she was just available and apparently she fancied me for ages. I dated her yes but only did it with her once; it wasn't like before she wasn't a bad person, she genuinely liked me so I kept it going longer than I should. Then you got a girlfriend, I admit it I was jealous I eventually dumped Lisa that was her name in case you were wondering I dumped her just in time for you to come running to me and start screaming at me, which now I've realised you did an awful lot of. Course I hugged you, you looked so pathetic and I wanted to make you feel better and I was honestly sorry for what I did. You were right when you spoke about us making love and yes you were right that I loved you by the way I hate admitting you were right so don't expect it to happen again in this letter. You say we were a couple, yeah I'm cool with that, yeah a couple, I like that. The end of the year was pretty sad, didn't really want to leave, because I wanted to stay with you, Merlin I sound proper gay.

Then as luck might have it, I had to repeat a year. I had mixed feelings about this, I was somewhat happy I got to spend another year with you, hey I admitted I loved you, but still though telling my parents the bad news, not great. Though having you in my bed did cheer me up immensely, all I can remember from our last year was all the sex, how we managed to pass was beyond me. Sex and Quidditch fucking bliss in my opinion, your memory must be better than mine because I can't remember a thing about that year, except making a decision about not caring what my parents said, what the fuck does it concern them who I choose to fuck, they want grandchildren we could always use potions. I was happy, shit I really do sound like a proper queer, and I guess the joke being that I really am one. To be honest I can't even remember Sirius Black being in the school, I think I just ignored it, he wasn't in my house and you were with me at the time, why should his presence bother me. There's nothing much to say for this year, I feel like I should write as much as you did but I can't see that happening, you just babble on too much.

Looks like I'll be talking about the three years we were together. What do you want me to say? I had a good time, I enjoy being with you. I loved you, you wanker, I was happy being in a relationship with you, I think the word I'm looking for is content. You shouldn't kick yourself about what was happening, I didn't know it was coming either, why should we, everyone has their own world, it wasn't fair ours had to be crushed because of someone else's problems. I just realised I never told you I loved you did I? I always said "you too" no wonder what happened, happened.

The year of the big war…what can I say? What do you want me to say? I loved you; I loved you, you bastard! You have no idea what I went through, what it was like to have people in our old flat checking up on me, asking me questions like I was a fucking suspect. They assumed I was a death eater I have had nothing to do with you-know-who all I did was play Quidditch and shag you, that's all my life was and then you fucked up. You fucked everything up; you fucked our whole lives up because of fucking peer pressure. What did you think if they suspected you Potter wouldn't be your friend anymore? I lived with you for three years and look what you did! You can sob about it now but that doesn't change what you did. Telling the truth means fuck all after the war, I was still accused of being a killer, they accused my family of being death eaters, my father was killed by them, my 'dad' was killed by the very group that he was accused of being a part of. You have no idea what that was like, me and my dad may not have seen eye to eye on some things but he loved me enough not to tell the death eaters where I was. I couldn't even go to his funeral without someone being there to watch over me. And the worst thing all this time when I was going through so much crap that you more or less helped caused I never hated you. I never hated you I just loved you and I missed you, I needed you and you weren't there! The reason I gave the information that your hero crew wanted was because it would help keep you safe, I fought to make sure you wouldn't be killed. I already lost someone I loved I wasn't prepared to loose another one.

So yeah I'm 28 now. I'm back with the Falcons as you know, they wanted me back a lot sooner but I was still getting checked up on, like risking my life for the good cause wasn't worthy of trust. You know what after all this time I still fucking love you. I know I shouldn't but I do and that's it, doesn't matter what or who I do I still love you, I still want you. When I saw you on the pitch I wanted to break your face I wanted to hurt you for what you put me through but I wanted to hold you more and tell you it's alright. It is alright you know. It is. After everything we are alright, yeah I'll take you back, you fucking knew I would. When I see you I'm going to tell you face to face that I really do love you. Wanker!

Also if you know felt like it we could get married, I haven't bought a ring but I will if you say yes. Plus the upside of getting married to you I will have married my "piece of skirt" well you call it a kilt but we'll talk about it later. So do you fancy it?

Marcus Flint

P/)

Oliver said yes.

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